"Uh, oh" said Hundo, as they sped across the desert sands of time. "Looks like we got company!"
Sure enough, on a nearby dune stood a couple of soldiers, their Mech-warrior-esque plated armor gleaming in the light form the setting sun. It was "Mark" and "Evangelista", the two most ruthless characters on the Xenia-Box memor card. (The graphics here much improved this desert level was certainly a demo version of the new "Halo 3".)
"Oh, crap" thought Hundo, as "Mark" fitted a grenade launcher to his shoulder, "We need backup."
Suddenly from over top of the next dune came none other than Mr. Lee, all nice and shining in a brand-new 'Warthog'. John-Lee shurgged and radioed in to Hundo and Tootsie-Roll: "Eh, it's a company car," he shrugged. Then he broke into great chroltes as "Mark" and "Evangelista" jumped out of the way, rolling back down the hill.
"Have you ever heard my Tim Bahl's imitation laugh?" he asked, turning his Wart-Hog around for another run.
"Hey, take us in close, Tootsy!" said Hundo to Tootsie-Roll. "You heard the man," said Laura, "We're going in!"
"Ha,hahahaha" Laughed Lee in perfect mockery as Hudno dropped smoothly down through a trap door in the underhull of the Banana's Boat, taking hold of the large rapid-fire making gun in back.
"Ha, ha, ha, (ha)" laughed Lee again, as Hundo started firing off, making the Red Team do a "hot dance" in the sand.
"Blue Leader, this is Lee. We're going to circle round until we get the 'all clear' signal from HQ/" John radioed in to Blue Leader. Suddenly a chopper appeared over the dune from behind.
"Don't stop now!" came Blue-Leader Tim Bahl's voice over the loud-speaker. "They've still got more guys over the next dune!" Then, a whole legions came pouring over the top, of Egyptian guard. Alyson lay sprawled out Princess Leia-esque on top of a Scorpion-tank (She struck a fine resemblance to that Egyptian Queen of antiquity, known to all and worshipped almost as a goddess, Cleopatra.), blue blasts were already being sent high overhead as Gospel settled into his slow-moving cruiser. Alongside him were Ted and Steve in speedy cruisers, hovering over the desert's sands and sending up twisters of dust every-which way, coming to join the fun of this little "game" in the desert.
"Be a good sport and show us hot it's done, Steve?!" said Ted with a certain personal relish.
"With pleasure," said Steve, twisting his handles to roar ahead, weaving past the madly prancing century guards and heading straight for Hundo and John-Lee in their Hummer-mobile. "Oh, crap" said Lee, "Brace for impact!" But Steve, knowing the fragility of his vehicle, fired some quick shots, then veered out of the way in the nick of time.
"Woah, that was close!" said Lee. "Evangelista to Red-Leader" Gospel communicated from within the recesses of his large vehicle. "Evangelista to Red-Leader, do you copy?"
"I'm all ears!" came Michelle's voice over the loud-speaker, copying back to all members of the Red-Team.
"How's the view from up there?" said Evangelista.
"Splendid," responded Michelle, spotting the pyramids in the distance.
"How about giving us some air cover?"
"Certainly," she said, moving decisively to the left to avoid Tim's chopper.
"Darn!" said Tim, hitting the dashboard. "I had a lock on Red Leader!"
"Hey, y'all!" came another voice from the air this time on everyone's headset. "Can I play?"
"Hey, honey" said Ted from below. "Whatcha doing up there?:"
"We get Anna!" said Tim.
"Yes," said Mag, in a decidedly South-East Asian accent, "You guys have too many players on your side." She let go of her control stick, causing her plane to drift up, accidentally knocking into Michelle during this time-out.
"Hey!" protested Michelle.
"Oops, sorry." said Magdalena. <"Tee-hee.">
"We should separate the couples!" yelled out Mr. Lee, as Hundo buried himself, knocking out Egyptian footmen like flies.
"No cando," said Gospel. "Ali's my first-mate, but you guys can take Anna."
"Can we get back to the game already!" said Steve, who was driving circles around Gospel's tank.
In the light and radiance of the setting sun, Hedley H. Stothers III appeared atop the dunes/ "Im in." he said simply, hefting a mighty Tazer-sword.
"Old house vs. new?" suggested Hundo, finishing off the last drone.
:Youre on!" replied Evangelista and all communique was silenced for the time being from that point on (with the two exceptions being the orders from each team leader to the men on the ground), but not before Hundo had sent a quuick-text to Tootsie-Roll, explaining that his presence was requested at this, "the Xenia House X-Box Live Rush event and Halo Tournament." With that he flipped up his dark-green 'Camo' character and the game began in earnest, shall we say.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Xenian HALO Sessions
[The Legion of Shadow-Priests take off in hot pursuit of Hundo, following 'the Gospel'. Hundo, in the meantime, has got himself into something of a pickle..]
Hundo (thinking to himself): How shall I ever escape the 'Curse of Hemley-O-Teth?!
[He makes a left, then a right, down a long cooridor in which he can hear quite palpably the march of the Shadow-Priests, another right, and sprints then quickly up an inclined grade. Up, up, up to back up to the Second Level he runs. The Shadow-Priests are making their turns around the corner. Hundo finds the ascent looping around in concentric squares, up towards the top of the pyramid. At one 90 degree angle of the turn he fails to notice that he has reached the top and the bright, sunny blue sky above the desert sands that surround the Pyramid of Hemley-O-Teth. Hundo has just enough time to think: "My, oh my, that's a mighty way down before he has teetered over the edge and falls with a Legions of Shadow-Priests, falling after him. At the last minute, Hundo is saved by none other than 'Tootsie-Roll', aka H.T. of 'The Adventures of Team Whammo', member of Team Turbo, as well as of the Xenia Social House in good standing. Laura, HT's first mate, acts as the co-pilot of the 'Feigning Pharaoh', who zoons out of nowhere to rescue Hundo from his dreadful fate, even as the Legions of Shadow-Priests fall into a hole, and back to the shadows. Gospel, who had eaten one too many cheeseburgers playing WOW on the Egyptian Mainframe, plugged into a giant vat of Root-Beer and Reese's Pieces, connected to a tube via his belly-button, watches 'Tootsie-Roll's' ship zoom off into the sky again and out of sight. He limps back to find Special-Sauce and call for back-up.
Hundo: "Tootsie-Roll!" Boy, I have to admit, I'm surprised to see you, my man! How's your old ship the Banana Boat 5000 fairing these days?
Tootsie-Roll: Yeah, she kind of took a turn for the worse and started collecting Fruit-Flies, so we had to throw her out. A pity we didn't take her with us. We could have started a composting pile in "Pyramid-X!"
"Ah, no worries," said Hundo. "What are you up to tonight?"
Tootsie-Roll: Yeah, we'll probably watch a couple episodes of 'The Office' on the ship's main computer with 'Gutsy' and friends, then make it an early night, and by "early night" we most definitely mean [But Tootsie-Roll didn't need to finish that last thought.] "Whammo!" said Hundo. "Nice."
Tootsie-Roll (giving Hundo a knowing expression): You know, they don't call me Tootsie-Roll for nothing!"
Hundo: "Sweeet."
Hundo (thinking to himself): How shall I ever escape the 'Curse of Hemley-O-Teth?!
[He makes a left, then a right, down a long cooridor in which he can hear quite palpably the march of the Shadow-Priests, another right, and sprints then quickly up an inclined grade. Up, up, up to back up to the Second Level he runs. The Shadow-Priests are making their turns around the corner. Hundo finds the ascent looping around in concentric squares, up towards the top of the pyramid. At one 90 degree angle of the turn he fails to notice that he has reached the top and the bright, sunny blue sky above the desert sands that surround the Pyramid of Hemley-O-Teth. Hundo has just enough time to think: "My, oh my, that's a mighty way down before he has teetered over the edge and falls with a Legions of Shadow-Priests, falling after him. At the last minute, Hundo is saved by none other than 'Tootsie-Roll', aka H.T. of 'The Adventures of Team Whammo', member of Team Turbo, as well as of the Xenia Social House in good standing. Laura, HT's first mate, acts as the co-pilot of the 'Feigning Pharaoh', who zoons out of nowhere to rescue Hundo from his dreadful fate, even as the Legions of Shadow-Priests fall into a hole, and back to the shadows. Gospel, who had eaten one too many cheeseburgers playing WOW on the Egyptian Mainframe, plugged into a giant vat of Root-Beer and Reese's Pieces, connected to a tube via his belly-button, watches 'Tootsie-Roll's' ship zoom off into the sky again and out of sight. He limps back to find Special-Sauce and call for back-up.
Hundo: "Tootsie-Roll!" Boy, I have to admit, I'm surprised to see you, my man! How's your old ship the Banana Boat 5000 fairing these days?
Tootsie-Roll: Yeah, she kind of took a turn for the worse and started collecting Fruit-Flies, so we had to throw her out. A pity we didn't take her with us. We could have started a composting pile in "Pyramid-X!"
"Ah, no worries," said Hundo. "What are you up to tonight?"
Tootsie-Roll: Yeah, we'll probably watch a couple episodes of 'The Office' on the ship's main computer with 'Gutsy' and friends, then make it an early night, and by "early night" we most definitely mean [But Tootsie-Roll didn't need to finish that last thought.] "Whammo!" said Hundo. "Nice."
Tootsie-Roll (giving Hundo a knowing expression): You know, they don't call me Tootsie-Roll for nothing!"
Hundo: "Sweeet."